Twilight: The Gateway to a 50 Shades Relationship?

What do vampires have in common with kinky BDSM?  Apparently, the best-seller 50 Shades of Grey was conceived as Twilight fan fiction.  Although Twilight lacks the explicit themes of 50 Shades, it romanticizes a similarly dangerous relationship.

To summarize (for those who spent the past decade under a rock), Twilight is a romance between Bella, a 17-year-old girl, and her classmate Edward, who happens to be a vampire.  I read Twilight several years ago while on vacation.  The story was engrossing.  But as I was reading, something about the relationship between Bella and Edward kept bugging me.  And it wasn’t the fact that Edward happened to be a vampire.  Everyone knows vampires are pretend!  (right. . . ?) 

No, what bothered me were the parallels between Bella’s story and real-world, dangerous relationships.

1.  Edward had a definite dark side.  He had a bad temper AND he struggled with blood lust.   At the beginning of the relationship, he treated Bella with cruel hostility.  (Was it excusable simply because he was trying to control the impulse to drain her veins?) During key points in their relationship, Edward had Bella walking on eggshells.  Just by being herself, Bella would accidentally trigger Edward’s darker nature. 

2.  Edward was very controlling.  During their “get to know you” conversations, Edward drilled Bella like the Spanish inquisition.  Edward changed his schedule so that they were taking all their classes together.  Edward insisted on chauffering Bella to school, both ways.  He would make fun of her car and refuse to let her drive.  He would take her places against her will (i.e., the prom) even though Bella strongly protested and said she did not want to go.

3.  Edward was extremely jealous and would become angry when he saw other boys becoming close to Bella.  Bella expressed relief that she had not had any former boyfriends, so that she would not have to tell Edward about them.

4.  Edward was a stalker.  He entered Bella’s house without permission.  Using his heightened sense of hearing, he listened in on Bella’s conversations.  He followed her without her knowledge.

5.  Edward held unequal power in the relationship.  He was a beautiful immortal, with super-human strength and speed.  He had unlimited funds.  He had special senses that enabled him to read others’ thoughts.  Bella, on the other hand, was awkward and insecure.  She had just moved to live with her dad and had no close friendships.  Edward would take Bella to remote locations, where she had no means of returning home by herself.  She was totally dependent on Edward.

To his credit, Edward warned Bella that he was not good for her.  Bella’s friends who knew Edward’s identity begged her to stay away from him.  Bella knew that Edward was dangerous, yet she consciously chose to stay with him.  She didn’t care about her human friends, she didn’t even care about her own human life.  She was stubbornly confident that the “love” she shared with Edward would make everything OK.

Putting aside the vampire factor, anyone see a problem with this relationship??  Yet Twilight boldly celebrates the fantasy love between Edward and Bella.  Judging by the sales of books, movies, DVDs – and wildly popular fan fiction spin-offs! -- the continuing Twilight story has captivated millions of girls, and women.

In just a few short years, the young woman’s obsession with Twilight has become the older woman’s obsession with 50 Shades of Grey.  Mothers, grandmothers, teachers, sisters and friends – we need to talk!  We must recognize and teach the signs of a dangerous relationship.  We must not let vampire romance and its fan fiction cloud our judgment. 

Because, in real life, a dangerous relationship is unlikely to resolve in a happy ending.